Aliens A Bit Like Lily Allen, Say Experts
EXTRA-TERRESTRIALS could already be bombarding the Earth with short bursts of self-promoting drivel, it was claimed last night.
Recent signals include, 'bored bored bored', 'Omnicron-D5 iz hot' and '90000yr long winters suck'.
The aliens also believe that 'Graxone4 shud get over it', which appears to be one of a series of references to a holographic reality television-type series in which squid-like beings perform demeaning tasks to win a date with something that looks like a massive scaly puffin.
Astrophysicist Dr Nikki Hollis said: "These messages appear to originate from a distant planet orbiting Ursa Minor, a place so different to our world and yet seemingly just as trivial and depressing.
"It's a strange sensation, to look up at the night sky and know that someone or something millions of light years away is about to watch a DVD boxset of series two of Tentacle Cop and eat some semi-gaseous ice cream while under their favourite blanket.
"I certainly never imagined being indifferent to a distant civilisation. Actually, I should probably stop reading their shit rather than just moaning about it, but it does give me a darkly compelling sense of superiority."
She added: "However it is exciting to think that one day we might be able to meet these emissaries of the cosmos, and give them a right good fucking slap."